We are sold: in the XXI century and we have many obstacules to surpass. And the examples can be seen around the corner, like a woman that forgot how to be herself for the sake of her children and also she has to take care of a third party as such, when he has to be a partner, her equal. Other that do all the homework and then complain that their partners don´t help (because they don´t give the men the possibility to do so). Women that, even when they do a similar job, their salaries are lower than their male counterparts. Women that they don´t stop working, even when their working hours just finished hours ago…
I come from a direct line of working women. My great-greatgrandmother used to do barter on the La Gomera forest to the harbour, earning some money on the way by praying for people or animals. My grandmother emigrated with her family and came back to the Canary Islands where she started working in a small shop with her husband (my grandfather). My mum work at the Caracas University as a secretary when she was very young. When she came back to the Canary Islands, she was “only” a housewife. After some public examinations, she got a post as a civil servant. Years later she retired with a city medal. I can´t deny fighters´blood runs through my veins.
All of these can´t be done with their partners´cooperation (less my great-greatgrandmother´s case: single mother with children from different fathers at the beginning of the XX century). Without them, it would have been difficult to work outside home. In my father´s case, the change was radical: from not knowing to fry an egg to leave the kitchen spotted clean after he prepared a meal for us. In my own case, I can´t thank enough the invaluable my partner´s cooperation, attending my daughter (from a previous relationship) when I have to go to work in the afternoons.
Yes, cooperation, not help. We are no longer live in a world where the men were the only one that went out to work and women stayed home. Now it´s time to work together, organize our lives to have a healthier coexistence. Complement each other in the house chores: I clean, you prepare food, for example… And this cooperation has to be extended to the children. If this isn´t done this way, we will be ending with useless kids that depend on us and don´t appreciate what it´s done to make a comfortable home. The house chores are for all members of the family.
What happens with all those women that have non-cooperative partners? Nothing good, I assure you:
- Strain sensation, like feeling that they have no time for everything
- Helplessness, because she doesn´t feel valued. I know cases in which women separate after giving many opportunities and the partners, unconnected to the reality, don´t understand why, because they have been the main breadwinners.
- Let´s be serious here: Who wants to have a marital relationship with someone you treat like your own child?
- Identity crisis. If a woman dedicates only to work and be a mum, she will never have time for herself and her hobbies, losing herself on the way.
And given that in Spain the the family conciliation still crawls like a baby, lets do something in our own homes and start giving us opportunities: we deserve it.
And this is valid for all type of families…